To have Tried
by JesSickUh
Summary: It's. Just. A. Crush.


**Title:** To Have Tried

**Author:** Jess

**Email:** un33kpnay1 at yahoo dot com

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Archive Rights:** DDFH, WrBeta

**Rating:** G

**Summary**: It's just a crush.

**Category:** General? UST? I dunno.

**Feedback:** Yeah,why not. But before you feedback, make sure you look up the terms "constructive" and "criticism" in the dictionary because I'm at a very emotional phase right now, and I don't feel like reading flames.

**Author's Notes: **This was initially the start of a songfic challenge (and the song in question would be "Crush," by Jennifer Paige ) that I never got to really incorporate the song into. I never turned it in because I didn't fulfill the actual challenge. I decided to turn it in as is, just to liven up my fic resume´. Rogue's annoyance in her inability to write something creative mirrored my own annoyance at not being able to complete the challenge at hand. I still don't know if I should turn this in to the person who challenged it, since it is several months late.

**Thank you/Dedications:** Thanks to Kendra for the title, and the beta. I just realized that the title kinda reminds me of the writing process I took for this li'l old piece. Huh. Go figure.

* * *

Rogue sat in front of her computer as she tried to think of a topic for her creative writing class. Not coming up with any ideas, she headed outside to see if the scenery, or anything really, could inspire her. So now she was sitting under a tree, pen in hand, to write a rough draft of a story. She had been staring at a blank page for a good half hour now with no progress whatsoever.

Well if she was honest, half of the time she was staring at a blank page. The other half was spent ogling the unbelievably gorgeous sight in front of her. There he was, the Wolverine to the others, and simply Logan, to her. Every day at about this time he would go out to the garden and start doing his Bagua Zhang exercises. Nobody would've guessed that the big bad Wolverine could be so graceful. Every move he made defined his muscles, and his brow would fury in concentration. Yep, this was definitely a _lot_ better than doing homework.

_Come on Rogue, concentrate. And when I say concentrate, I mean on your work. Not on the way his butt clenches when he-"_

"Hey Roguey!"

Rogue blanched inwardly. She hated being called that. Okay well not really. Jubes called her that all the time, and cutesy nicknames were something her friend in yellow was known for. But the endearment didn't have the same effect coming from the guy standing in front of her at the moment.

Rogue smiled politely at Bobby as he took it upon himself to sit down next to her. Not wanting to be rude, she moved over to give him more room. Or maybe it was to give herself more room, so that Bobby's arm wouldn't be so close to touching hers.

"Watcha got there?"

"Oh it's nothing really, just some work for my writing class."

"Mind if I take a peek?"

She was about to hand the notebook over to him, thinking there was no harm since it was a blank page after all right? Wrong! Glancing down, she realized that she had been doodling all over the paper like some silly schoolgirl.

Logan and Marie, Logan loves Marie, Mrs. Marie Logan and well, you get the picture, was scribbled all over the front and back of the page she had initially started writing on. Every empty space was filled with crudely drawn hearts and arrows. She cringed at the absurdness of it all. The last time she acted so girly and childish was when she and David had started being more than friends. Well she remembered how _that_ turned out. And besides...it was a crush; nothing more, nothing less. The man was hot and she wasn't blind to that. She was grown woman after all; a woman with desires.

Rogue immediately squashed that thought. She didn't want Bobby to know about her little crush, because she didn't want him to think that Logan was the reason that she kept refusing his advances on her. For the last year, he had been relentlessly asking her out, but she kept insisting that they remain just friends. She knew that Logan felt about her, the way she felt about Bobby and _that_ made her feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world. Still, she couldn't just pretend to feel something for someone. It wouldn't be fair to him, and it wouldn't be fair to herself.

She held the notebook out of arm's reach and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, but I don't like showing my works in progress to anyone. It makes me feel self-conscious."

"S'okay," he said, unaffected. "Listen, I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight. Maybe we could go see a movie?"

Rogue faltered, wondering how she could once again, let him down gently, when a shadow fell over her.

"Sorry kid, Rogue's with me tonight."

She blushed at the innocent words, knowing that he didn't mean she'd be _with_ him the way she imagined.

"Oh...right, you promised you'd help me with my training."

Well at least it was true. She felt like less of a heel since she didn't have to make up a lie this time. She really didn't want to be rude, but the guy just couldn't take no for an answer.

"Okay...well...next time right?"

"Whatever kid," Logan said, answering for her.

Sensing that this was more or less a dismissal from the feral man, Bobby stood up hesitantly and walked back to the mansion.

"You're welcome," Logan said, giving her a teasing grin.

At that, Rogue became indignant. "I didn't need you to do that you know! I could've handled it on my own."

"Sure, sure you could have." He winked at her playfully, and walked back to his original spot to continue his exercises.

She rolled her eyes at his arrogance and cast her notebook aside. Figuring that she was never gonna get any work done, she let her thoughts drift to her relationship with Logan.

He was her best friend. Her best friend who just happened to have the body of a Greek God. Her best friend who just happened to make her sweat a little more than usual during training sessions, compared to when she was sparring with any of the other guys on the team. Yes he was attractive, and yes his name was the only one that came to mind when she thought about her desires. So what? She had been untouched for so long, and it was only normal. Right? And besides, why imagine your first time with some bumbling college boy who was afraid of your skin? Didn't it make sense that she'd imagine it with someone that was experienced? Someone who was comfortable with her skin? With _her_ in general?

Rogue scoffed at the thought. What was wrong with her? Since when did her thoughts turn into losing her virginity to Logan of all people. Sex was one thing. Love was another. No matter how starved for touch she was, or how crazy her hormones got, she would never hit the sheets with someone she didn't love, let alone someone who didn't love her back. Who said she was even going to do it with anyone unless she was married to him? Before her mutation, she never thought she'd be the type to stay a virgin until her wedding night, but with the disaster of her first kiss, her priorities changed. You can't just marry someone you don't love. And she didn't love Logan in _that _way. It was. Just. A. Crush.

She got up when the sky started turning the slightest hint of orange. Only then did she realize that Logan had been out there longer than usual. She looked over to where he was and saw that he looked about ready to go back in himself. She walked over to him, letting her eyes slide appreciatively over his hard body.

"You ready to go shugs?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

She hooked her arm with his, as they walked back to the mansion. It was a gesture as normal as breathing to both of them, but this time, Rogue felt something different. She snuck a glance at his face, which held a look of content. Smiling knowingly, she decided then and there that she would stop lying to herself. There was no reason to dance around her feelings anymore. She would lay all her cards out on the table. If he truly didn't want anything more in their relationship, then at least she tried. And if he did-well then maybe she could stop lying to herself.

The End


End file.
